Goodbye Smoke Moment, I'll Dream of you.
I quit smoking! Yes, anyone who knows me personally will find this a moment they did not expect but I have finally given in and realised it's time to show my lungs, bank account and health some RESPECT!
I am finally free, I stopped that filthy habit .. (Love that I can be the smug ex smoker now)
1st January 2019, 1.30am
My last cigarette, little to my knowledge. I didn't think I was actually going to pull this thing off!
My sister has been badgering me to quit, she even purchased me the Miracle life changing book that saved her and opened her eyes a year ago. I think her exact words were " Just read it, if it works..brilliant if it doesn't, you haven't lost anything " so with them wise words taken on board, I decided to give it a go.
The book advises to keep smoking throughout reading the book and I instantly thought marvellous, no deprivation. Naturally, I am a quick, keen reader. With this particular book I found myself really taking in every word to prolong the final chapter coming around. If there was one thing I loved to do, was to sit on my patio with a drink in hand puffing the evening away with loved ones. It was relaxing, enjoyable, social and really gave me the Carrie Bradshaw Smoking phase feeling.
In actual fact, I was most of the time especially in the cold winter months wrapped in many of layers, puffing away, stinking and feeling slightly lethargic and heavy. It's so strange in hindsight how you feel as a full time smoker and believe this is how a 26 year old should feel in comparison to a non smoking 26 year old. Now don't get me wrong, I am in the extremely early stage of my no smoking journey and have a long way to go but I felt to log my process so far may hopefully inspire other tired, poor, smoking for no apparent reason at all people like myself.
I finished the book in the end, but never felt ready to quit at the time. I ended up smoking through the whole of the Christmas Period. The book encouraged me to quit and at certain points really gave me the motivation to just do it but when I found myself nearing the end I panicked and felt I couldn't do it. In the end, I decided to quit on a date that suited me and out of sheer will power, but the book had positive effects in making me realise it is all psychological!
I started full time smoking in 2010. I remember the exact moment I slipped from a social weekend smoker into a fully fledged smoker. I swore to myself like I am sure most of us did that I would never become addicted and reliant on these things and that I would be able to quit at any given moment. Now here I am writing about how I never thought I would be able to quit.
It was only until recently that I started to feel the negative effects of smoking full throttle! At 19 years old, I was young and fit and could get away with a few cigarettes. I loved smoking. I felt an accomplished cool adult. Most of my friends eventually joined me or soon to be friends smoked too. We lived for a good gossip, wine and of course a cigarette.
Coming close to my 27th Birthday and I have officially set myself free of the poisonous sticks I use to look forward to lighting up. I feel it in my body, my mind and especially my bank account. The benefits are endless, and I guess I have my sister to thank for doing it in the first place and pushing me towards following in her footsteps.
It wasn't an easy ride and especially as my boyfriend quit at the exact same time as me, I am surprised we are both still alive. I wanted to kill someone in my first weeks and I was angry, frustrated and couldn't wrap my head around how psychological the whole process was. I was finding myself going to put my coat on to go smoke, agreeing to go for one with colleagues and forgetting in an instant that I had given up. It was super difficult, and the pangs were REAL! To my own surprise, I managed to get through the first week and eventually noticed that it was getting easier. It went from a cigarette being the first thing I thought about when I woke up, to surviving the whole day and not realising I use to smoke until I see my lonely little deck chair and table sat on my patio unused.
I am the point now where I still crave a cigarette sparingly, but the craving lasts all of 10 seconds and I have forgotten about it again. It's like a small demon gets excited thinking this will be the moment I give in and spark up, when I overcome it the Demon goes back in its dark hole, feeling unwanted.
I often dream and remember my dreams vividly. So, it was no surprise when I woke up one Morning believing I had smoked a cigarette the night before. Very similar to the dreams you have when you believe your partner has cheated on you. You are angry with them for the first part of the Morning until you don't suspect them any longer. They say the dreams will happen and I am okay with that. I see it as somewhere in the dream world, I am still a smoker enjoying my glass of wine and feeling no negative effects in dreamland or the real land.
So far, so good. I am feeling fitter, healthier, more energetic and definitely slightly richer. I mean what girl wouldn't love an extra set of earrings or a MAC Lippy for the same price as a packet of Marlboro's. Winning, you wouldn't set that lipstick on fire after purchasing it would you? No you would not!
So the pro's and con's of smoking are as follows..
I wake up with a spring in my step - after the shower that is.
I made it through HIIT class without falling against the wall, woo hoo!
Yes, yes I will buy the Primer that assists the foundation to look flawless
Oh, I can start my day positively without inhaling smoke. Great!
TASTE (PERSONAL FAVOURITE)
You thought that Jalfrezi was heaven on this earth and spicy Sasha? Quits smoking and tries.......WOAH!!!!
I can smell my own perfume after an hour still lingering on me, I smell good .... what the hell did I smell like before?
Absolutely nothing, all you smokers reading this and envious. Join us on the other side.
I had my fun, I lived my Carrie Bradshaw moment. Now it's time to say a final farewell and reap even more benefits down the line. I am hoping for ' so energetic, I stay awake past 9.00pm ' for that I shall wait patiently.
Goodbye Smoke Moments, I'll see you in my dreams.