How to live in the moment
Updated: Feb 13
If you have clicked the link in the hope that this post will guide you on how to live in the moment, you’re on the wrong blog. Instead I am going to write about how I have completely forgotten how to live in the moment and how I fear each day is passing me by so quickly that I cannot control how to live each day to its highest and instead worry about the next day, week or even year.
If I think back to a time where I felt I was truly living in the moment and enjoying each day, I have to cast my mind back quite far, it’s a hazy fog and the memory is getting further and further away from my mind. For each day is a constant worry. I am a serial overthinker and worrier and it consumes my brain and energy.
What triggered this thought was when I visited my hometown a few weeks ago I found myself ridden with anxiety and worries about me being away from my own home in London. Every time I go back to visit my family and re-visit childhood surroundings, there is an overwhelming feeling of being out of sync and routine. The more I was worrying about the routine I needed to be in back here in London, the more time with my family was passing and I wasn’t appreciating my time for what it should have been.
These feelings were an overwhelming sense of needing to get things done around my London home, wondering if my partner is ok here on his own and just a real out of sorts anxiety which is basically a whole worry of nothing. As soon as I stepped back in London after my four days break. My home visit worrying self was instantly back to my London home worrying self. I felt neither relaxed or relieved, I was back to my city life surroundings, it was just me stepping out of one anxiety bubble straight into another. Only the second bubble was hounded with adult responsibilities and guilt.
I love visiting Leicester and seeing all of my Family. For me it’s an opportunity to become my teenage self again and hands down I know my Nanna will wave on me hand and foot whilst I lie on the sofa feeling responsibility free and childish. So why the heart palpitations? Why was there a low lying sense of dread and worry? I was away from the other half, all my meals were being prepared for me and I didn’t have to lift a finger. Instead of enjoying this feeling, I was feeling guilty and already obsessing over things that needed to be done as soon as I got back to my own territory.
This concluded things for me when I got back home in NW2, I am so guilty of worrying and stressing myself out thinking I will feel better when I am back in my routine but that’s when I realised my normal day to day life is also an anxious battle so really there is no moments being lived. I am not seizing the day, I don’t know how.
I am my own worst enemy, filling my mind with thoughts that only trigger more tense feelings and mood. Constantly obsessing over the bad parts of my life and hardly appreciating the good. Is there a trick to switching your mindset? To be able to naturally use the law of attraction. To be able to put out into the universe the positives you want for yourself rather than the negative.
I recently read a statement ` If your life was a book, would you want to read it ‘ and the answer is absolutely not, no. I couldn’t think of a worse read for people to waste their time on. At the moment, my life book is a dusty black hardback that catches the eyes of nobody and it’s no other fault but my own.
There are so many good things I do have right now, and I am still young, fit and ready. The only person that can change how their book reads is myself. I am not booking a sky dive for tomorrow or packing my bags and backpacking around South America because that isn’t what I want to do. But I want to be able to actually switch my brain off and bring myself round to making the most of the day, I want to continue to make memories and have fun without the guilt and dread creeping in and waiting in the wings the next morning. I want to live in the moment again, I have just got to teach myself how.